My boyfriend says hes not happy with me
We rushed because of passion and got engaged too soon, one of the red flags I ignored because I was so happy to meet a guy who was madly in love with me. Which brings me to my current dilemma. He says he cares for me deeply. He calls every day, makes time to see me three or four times a week and we spend every weekend together. The sex is amazing.
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: When He's Not Investing In You, Avoid THIS MISTAKE (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)Content:
- How Do You Help an Unhappy Husband?
- 10 subtle signs your partner is no longer happy in your relationship
- Understanding Why Men Stay in Unhappy Relationships
- 6 Signs Your Partner Is Unhappy In Your Relationship & Isn’t Telling You
- He’s Not Happy, and That’s Not Your Fault
- Dear Therapist: I’m Losing Patience With My Boyfriend in Quarantine
- My boyfriend says that he is not happy anymore. He said that...
We rushed because of passion and got engaged too soon, one of the red flags I ignored because I was so happy to meet a guy who was madly in love with me. Which brings me to my current dilemma. He says he cares for me deeply. He calls every day, makes time to see me three or four times a week and we spend every weekend together. The sex is amazing. He moves slowly and deliberately in general. Recently I keep wondering, what if he never falls in love?
When do I cut my losses? And if I do stay, how do I keep my insecurities from eating the relationship alive? Or does this situation inevitably spell doom and pain? Great question. Sorry this is taking a toll on you. For most of my life, I dove into relationships head-first. Start with sex, commit within a week or two, declare love within a month. From ages , that got me into a series of short-term relationships with intense chemistry and no long-term compatibility.
When we finally did sleep together, I committed to her as a boyfriend and we had a wonderful eight-month relationship. Warm, kind, silly, curious, family-oriented. Older and sexier. She was I was I needed a woman, not someone in her first job and her first relationship. Six months later, I met a year old divorcee who, temperamentally, reminded me a lot of my ex.
Ten years later, she is the mother of our two children. Good luck. IMHO, loving someone and saying you love someone are two different things. Are you really uncertain whether he loves you or do you just need to hear the words?
I definitely said them first and waited till a moment of emotional crisis to hear them from him. Having said all this, I was never in any real doubt that he did actually love me. My husband has always found other ways to show me that he does indeed love me deeply.
In the beginning, I occasionally felt a pang, as if something was missing but now I hardly think about it. My heart always jumps a little in my chest and beats extra fast for a few moments :. If he cares for you deeply without thinking about what is in it for him, he loves you. This love will obviously grow the longer you are together. I think it more likely that he attaches some serious significance to the actual words and will not say them until he feels that level of commitment to you.
I am sorry but saying this to an emotionally vulnerable person she told him she loves him and he said he didnd, duh! Yeah, if we could do this sort of mental gymnastic, why would he have any relationship issues in our lives?
The OP: I feel for you. And it must be hurting every day since as you are trying to placate this person and be someone you think he would fall in love win rather than being yourself. My advise would be to remove yourself from this situation before it drives you insane. If at all an option, book a long 2 weeks or so vacation in a far away land.
May be you always wanted to see Bali or Vietnam. May be you always wanted to do that yoga retreat in Cista Rica, or save elephants and orphans in Zambia. Just get out. Continuing to give this guy what he needs as if nothing has happened will NOT make him fall in love. But, perhaps, making him feel what it would be like without you in his life will. Or not. And more importantly, you will have your balance and dignity too.
My advice involves positive thinking and a leap of faith that shows she values herself and she trusts her boyfriend. A change of scene may help her clear up her head and chill out a bit, and bring the intensity of her own feelings down and give her some perspective. Perhaps, if the object of unreturned love is not in front of her 4 days a week, she will re-evaluate her own feelings a bit. And that only after a bit of a confrontation with Evan, not all that unlike the comment and response above.
Anyhow, good luck with that is all i can say. Is he meant to break up with a woman he really likes and is good to and feels good around? Nobody is a bad guy for not loving you! He was honest. So this is not about punishing him or giving him deadlines. I stuck around for a while because duh I loved him and he treated me very well — up until the day he finally broke up with me. The OP is If he says the L word in a few months- great, if not she will be empowered to dump his ass and move on.
Otherwise this will be a trainnwreck. I agree with Evan on this one. Sure, she may wish to give him some time limit to get to know his feelings before she considers moving on, but if she just bails now, how long before she finds another guy that she feels the same for, and what if she never does. Only she can make that choice though. Not 5 or 6 months. My take on this is that the boyfriend is an over cautious, fearful person in general. Unless the spouse is on the same page, I foresee conflict even if they got married.
My thoughts exactly.. Yes, easier said but it can be done. Could be telling. To them anyway, because these stories often have a follow-up where the ex married someone else within 2 years. Then again his actions portray a man who is commited and holds great affection for her. However, I have a tendency to feel that all men think like me whereas, in reality, different men feel differently on these matters. As it is quite possible he might never feel that way. You see, the risk in this situation is that VM could spend several of her prime years in this relationship limbo and still be no closer to where she actually wants to be.
Talk can be cheap. People can change their minds. So taking his word for it that he wants marriage and kids with her might not be enough. Tricky situation, cut-and-run or wait-and-see? Yeah, he wants the same things, but not with her. Cut and run. No contact for 30 days. Date others. Not THAT slow, though. Nor would I want to be with someone that was way more excited about me. Never works long term, IMO. I think Evan is right on this issue.
This guy has integrity. The word love is overused. Most guys I know are not so great with feelings. It seems that he is showing his love by his actions. Too many women think those 3 words merely denote affection.
I would continue evaluating how he treats me and give him more time. If his treatment lessen then buh bye. My heart went out to you reading that. What do you make of someone who does really opposite?
You let him lead, he does everything right. You bring the kid into the picture. He says he loves you. You all go on a big trip.
How Do You Help an Unhappy Husband?
Regardless of the seriousness of your relationship, the feeling of not knowing what your partner's thinking is something everyone can all relate to. But let's face it, it's mentally exhausting trying to decode every text or dissect every conversation. And then there's the dilemma of whether you should say something or not?
Here are 7 things you can do and say to keep your partner and their happiness and by extension, yours in check. It involves really seeing them, the contributions they make, and highlighting them. If your partner works long hours and then takes on a lot of the work at home in the evenings so that you can pursue your passions, acknowledge them for that. Keep doing what makes you happy, stay rested, and take care of your own happiness.
10 subtle signs your partner is no longer happy in your relationship
My boyfriend says that he is not happy anymore. He said that he hasn't been in a long time, and that he feels that he doesnt know if he can handel the responsibilities that come along with being in a relationship. He said that he loves me, he is in love with me but that he needs a few days to figure things out. For now, he doesnt want to break up. He is not cheating on me, or interested in dating other women. He said " I dont know if I can handle being with anyone, but if I can I want to be with you". It seems as though lately, all we do is bicker. We are constantly at each others throats.
Understanding Why Men Stay in Unhappy Relationships
Some not so happy. Loving a man who is struggling with unhappiness or even depression may not be easy, but it is possible. Here are seven ways to help your unhappy husband, plus several tips for improving your marriage. How can I help an unhappy husband? The good news is that there are ways you can walk alongside your unhappy husband.
One of the most important things you can do — especially if you feel helpless because your boyfriend said he no longer loves you — is to give yourself time to grieve. Your heart is broken, you lost an important relationship, and your world may even feel shattered. A breakup cuts to the quick and hurts to the core. You are not alone.
6 Signs Your Partner Is Unhappy In Your Relationship & Isn’t Telling You
My boyfriend and I are in our mid-twenties and have been together for 7 years. He's a kind, loving and respectful partner, so I find it difficult to explain exactly why I feel this way. Of course, like anybody, he isn't perfect.
Breaking up is hard to do, because no one wants to be the bad guy. However, it can be just as worse to drag things out and witness the love you once shared wither away and die. Guys can be especially hesitant to end something that was once good, particularly if the two of you have created a life together. Save yourself the potential heartache and worry and read these, because everyone deserves love. Why would he waste his breath if he wants things to be over and done with anyway? No one likes a pouter, and this guy can sulk with the best of them!
He’s Not Happy, and That’s Not Your Fault
My bf and I have been fighting quite a bit lately. We both are tired of it. Which only makes it harder to work things out. Which I do because he never talks about our problems like I said earlier. I then asked why he is with me and he said because he hopes I grow up as in me not fighting with him and because he loves me. No advice perse, but this relationship sounds exhausting to me.
Obviously, that's not realistic. Life is pretty long and sometimes people hit roughs patches that can take a toll on their happiness level. If you sense your partner is unhappy, it can feel like the end of the world or the end of your relationship, but that's not always the case. To get to the root of the problem though, you have to figure out if there's a problem at all. Everyone feels unhappy sometimes and your partner will be more open to sharing those feelings of unhappiness with you if they feel like you're both in the same boat.
Dear Therapist: I’m Losing Patience With My Boyfriend in Quarantine
How can you tell your partner is not thrilled about being together? What are the clues that he or she is unhappy in your relationship? Though there are some outright hints, sometimes it can be tricky to tell.
My boyfriend says that he is not happy anymore. He said that...
I have a confession. Sometimes, when my partner is distracted, I just look at him and wonder, what the hell is happening in that head of his? It's not that he doesn't communicate. He does.
So you love a guy with low self-esteem. Sucks to be you. Who still kind of does. I know the crap you deal with. He must drive you nuts.
Relationships can be amazing experiences if we are with the right people, otherwise they can just have us feeling stuck. So why do people do this to themselves? Imagine how he feels. He will seem happy one minute, only to lash out the next. Sometimes the only way to make yourself a little bit happy is to pretend that you are. That can come out in a social media post about how amazing your relationship is.